Thursday, November 17, 2011

Please read this carefully, it's not the usual Yada Yada

 

Effectively immediately: the system has a new manual rendering all previously versions null and void. We have been informed that you have been negligent and irresponsible in your past use of our service; hence the need for a new and completely updated version of the manual. Compliance to the new manual affects everyone, no exceptions, no excuses, and absolutely no fobbing off your responsibility to the system to a third-party. This new manual pertains to you.

The new manual requires your immediate attention and ignorance the rules of the new manual cannot be used as an excuse. All provisions in the manual must be strictly adhered to.

The most important change to the manual is that there is a new pay structure. Everything from now on is going to cost you dearly. No more free ride. What you have previously taken from the system must be returned in full. (Instructions on how to do that can be found on forthcoming pages in the manual.)

Unfortunately, for too long it has been assumed by many who use the service that they could do so without cost. This new manual has been updated to clear up any misunderstandings on the nature of the service and how it operates.

We are sorry for the inconvenience, but somehow you have been misinformed. The system never was free. It is not our fault that you thought it was.

Changes to the system:

  • When you take something from the system, you have to put it back.
  • If you put something into the system that causes the entire system to malfunction, you must right it immediately.
  • If you destroy any component of the system and cannot recreate it exactly, there will be a stiff penalty.
  • If you pollute any part of the system with your product or byproduct of your product you must, at your own expense, clean that up. No half-measures will be accepted.
  • If you construct a sub-system to the system that deprives anyone else of their right to enjoy the full measure of the system, you must stop that immediately. Prohibiting anyone to enjoy the system is prohibited.
  • If you design something and attempt to implement it without first checking the manual, you will be severely punished if it goes haywire.
  • If you have trouble complying with the system, please deal with it as there is no help available—we simply lack the resources.

If you are unhappy with the new manual, please note there is no one, no department, to complain to. This is it. No more notifications will be forthcoming.

Signed,

Mother Earth

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